End of the Ruby Road......

March 29, 2011

Exactly 10 month to the day, on February 17, 2011 I returned from the island of the Sun back to Copacabana, ending the journey of The Ruby Road.
All the Ruby Seeds had been planted and the mission was completed.
Looking back, I realized, it had very much felt like a mission. I did not have many specifics about the route or where to plant these seeds or how to go about it either.
What I did know was, that the journey would end at Lago Titicaca at the Island of the Sun. Then I would be free to do what I want or could dream of.
When I left the snow covered landscape of Alaska, I had no idea what I was getting myself into or if I would be able to reach the far away lake on the South American continent. My mechanical skills, to take care of any mishaps with Bluebird, my Volkswagen Camper, are next to none. This was a bit of a concern to me from the beginning. Keeping Sky comfortable in the hot central American countries had been another worry, besides safety concerns and keeping out of harms way.
Many good friends had reassured me, that I would be guided by spirit, as was my own belief, but I could feel their concern for our well being.
My idealistic view painted a beautiful picture of a great adventure, that would magically be guided by spirit, where I would know where to go and what to do at all times. This in mind, I did little preparation or planning for the trip.
Over time, after the second breakdown of Bluebird, I had to admit to myself, preparations are necessary and shortcuts are not allowed. Cause and effect are still the same, no matter what mission you are on. The physical world is goverend by natural laws that do not differentiate between good and bad. This was an eye opener for me,needing to get my head out of the clouds and dealing with the very physical experience presented to me at every turn of the road.
The journey felt like I had jumped into a river, wearing a life vest that was keeping me afloat and out of harms way, but being swept away by a current, that I had no control over.
The mind is a powerful and amazing tool we humans are endowed with, but also a terrible burden, when left to run it`s own course fed by opinions, experiences of the past or any other images conjured of ones interpretation of self in realtionship to others and this planet.
Early on I learned to follow intuition, keeping ahead and out of the way from natural disasters, that were raging in the Mexican highlands. That part was easy for me. Dealing with fear to enter El Salvador or being stuck in a small village on the side of a mountain in the middle of nowhere in Guatemala was an entirely different lesson to learn. It was always about controlling my mind. Are the pictures in my head real or am I just imagining a reality created by my thoughts, that hasn`t even happened yet. Yes, the bus was in need of repair, but did that symbolize, the steep mountain we had come down, was now unclimbable and we would be stuck here.
In those first few months of travel, I had to do a lot of surrender to what is and take a good look at my thoughts, dealing with the moment and not an imagined future. It wasn`t a magical shift, but a step by step process, that got easier with each recurring time, because I recognized the falseness of my thoughts and had found a way to clear all of that garbage out and see the moment for what it really was.
The brake on Bluebird got repaired, we left the mountainside village behind and the people of El Salvador were one of the most friendly beings I had met up to date.
Ridding myself of fear did not mean to leave caution by the wayside, but it made the journey so much more enjoyable.
There were so many magical moments, like looking down into Telica crater and watching the lava bubble up, or the women in the field stopping their work to share their meager meal with me in the Highlands of Guatemala. The great Tucan flying by, settling on a tree branch right next to where Sky and I were sitting in Costa Rica.
The amazing thunder and lightening storm at Chichen-Itza right after the planting of the Ruby Seed there and all the wonderful experiences with the people of each country.
Leaving Bluebird behind in Costa Rica was hard. It meant, letting go of the last posessions I had, other then just the essentials of clothing and shoes and whatever I could carry in my backpack. I had to leave behind my guitar, my drums and my spiritual items, not to mention cookware and other comfort items.
Sky and I learned to foot our way in Ecuador. I also learned to pay less attention to what I did not have with me anymore, but to seek comfort in the spirits of the mountains and trust that Pachamama would provide me with what I needed.
One day I had just bought a salad in a store, but forgot to take a plastic fork with me. We had walked a distance to a beautiful park, when I noticed, I had nothing to eat the food with. Not wanting to walk all the way back, I searched for a spot to sit down. On the way there I spotted some garbage and went to pick it up. It was a fork, still wrapped in the plastic and unused. Wow...I thought, I like this.
Obstacles along the way came and went. Most of the time they were not real obstacles, but opportunities to examine the flow of my thoughts and make necessary corrections, so I could proceed on the path and enjoy all the beauty around me.
The Galapagos Islands were probably the most magical place, where the abundance of marine and terrestrial wildlife was in such a stark contrast with the unforgiving landscape of the volcanic islands.
At times I struggled with lonelyness and missed my friends and community. Sky seemed to know when to cheer me up or when to be playful and lift my mood. Most often, after one of these episodes, someone would appear and be a travel partner or hiking companyon for a day or a week. Sky also seemed to have a grounding effect on me. I had to care for him, making sure he was comfortable and had what he needed, which included hikes, walks and having dog fun. He delighted in engaging kids in every country to throw a stick or a ball for him. The children would be amazed he could do tricks and fetch and couldn`t get enough playtime with him. People took pictures of him in every country and many a times I was asked, if I would sell them my dog.
His personality also changed over time. He became much more outgoing, exploring every new environment and learned to jump off the rocks at Lake Atitlan. He continued his new learned skills everywhere we went, but he never got used to big, noisy cities with crowded sidewalks. For this reason we avoided large cities or just stayed a day if necessary, seeking out the pueblos and campesinos. I had some concerns for his safety in the jungle of Ecuador, but he seemed to know it was alright to enjoy all the smells, but not to veer off the trails to far or chase anything. After the first day in the jungle, where he appeared a little scared,
he became the mad dog, running up and down the trails, his ears up and a smile on his face, because he loved all the new smells.It was so amazing to watch him adapt to new places and people. I rarely had him on a leash or had to give him any comands. If we were hiking in the mountains, he ran off to explore and have fun. When in a city or a village and I went into a store, he sat and waited infront of the door. Many a times, I followed him back to our hostal, because I was not sure which way to go, but he knew. His love, joy, dedication and preseverance was unshakable.
The shock of loosing him in Nasca, Peru so suddenly is still indiscribeable for me.
I had known even before leaving Alaska, that he would not return from South America,
but had envisioned us living for some time in the mountains of Peru, where he would love it, like he had loved the mountains and rivers of Alaska.
As in most cases, when we are busy making plans, life presents us with an entirely different scenario.
The month following Sky`s death was the hardest time for me, but it also gave me the deepest inside to my beliefs and desires. It enabled me to shed beliefs that no longer served me. I had everything I needed and there was no more need to look outside of myself to validate my existence. Instead, it was time to think about what I wanted for myself and how I want to serve on this planet.
I continued on my mission, planted the Ruby at Machu Picchu and took some time in the Sacred Valley to integrate what had happened, to grief, to understand the insights I was receiving and what that meant to me.
During the hike into Colca Canyon I felt something new emerging. I saw a new journey developing. Not necessarely a road trip, although it could include some travel. My thoughts had been cruising around for days about what it is that I want for myself,
what are my needs and desires.
More then anything, I had realized, I want to serve. Not that there had been anything wrong with my past occupation. I did serve in a beautiful way, but not always with the right frame of mind. Knowing,the Universe always makes use of any talents or gifts, I imagine, I will continue to use the skills of my hands, but am also open to new avenues.
One day I saw the title of my next blog: ^Journey of my Heart^. It felt so sweet, so beautiful and so feminine, I could hardly believe it. I also received a gentle nudge
toward an idea, I had kept in my heart for many, many years.
I was excited and scared at the same time, but before making further plans, I had to plant the last Ruby at the Island of the Sun in Lake Titicaca. The 12 days at the Lake and on the islands were pure magic. The perfect ending of the 10 month journey.

The Ruby Road had taught me a lot. I had adventures of a lifetime. Though, I could not have done it without the support of my friends, family and community. There were so many moments, I received an e-mail or someone posted on my wall at Facebook, or wrote a comment, when I most needed that encouragement. Or when I felt lonely and wanted to feel connected. Not to mention the shared pain and love sent, after Sky`s death. I feel very fortunate and very grateful to have such a loving community of friends and family. And Thank God for internet. What a wonderful way to stay connected and in touch with everybody!!!! Thank you, beautiful beings....

My new journey has already begun. It has a new title, which means, if you want to continue reading, you will need to bookmark the new title:
http:/amerissis-journeyofmyheart.blogspot.com