The route to being "humble"

June 8, 2010
It has never been quite clear to me what humble really means. Sure, I have had moments, days, even weeks in my life when I felt very humble. The healing work never seemed like it was me doing it. I always felt very privileged to be the instrument
to a greater power, thus let the work be done, so clients and patients could receive what they needed. That was my concept of being humble. But I could never fully translate that into other every day decisions, unless something bad happened and by taking responsibility for it, I felt humbled, as a result of it. More often I associated it with moments of beauty, deep love and connecting to people, places and events.
When I left Helena, I knew where I was going. I had made up my mind which route to take and what to see. My heart felt a bit heavy after saying good-bye to Sue,Rich and Hankie and the beautiful place they had provided for us. But it was time to go!
We headed southeast to Chico Hotsprings, Yellowstone Park and into the Grand Tetons.
It rained the entire time. Sometimes it stormed and the winds were buffeting Bluebird so visciously, at times I thought, it might blow us off the road. I was miserable. We saw a lot of wildlife along some of the most beautiful countryside, but the misery continued. One day I decided I will drive until I am out of the rain, before I stop anywhere for the night again. We found sunshine in Idaho. Even more sunshine welcomed us into Utah. Then Bluebird broke down. Fortunately this happened right at the entrance of a very small town on a Sunday afternoon. Sky and I hung out for hours in a shady spot behind a brick building, waiting for the searing heat to ease off at sunset. This gave me ample time to ponder my situation. I wasn't upset, just kind of stumped. A day before I departed Helena, in a dream I was shown the route...to go to Chico, then Yellowstone and out the westside to Idaho on the I 15. But the dream had been sketchy and kind of fragmented and I had forgotten it. I remembered it that afternoon. The next morning I brought Bluebird to the mechanic.
It turned out to be a minor problem from bad fuel that could get fixed for little money by a handsome, sweet young (presumable) Mormon man. We took off in the direction I-15 south. By then I had realized how fortunate we had been and how vulnerable we are going to be. My conversation with God was something like: "Okay, I will get out of the way.....I will trust....I will follow directions.....and I am very grateful. To be humble is to be grateful, even when there is no answer for why!